By Michael • @mikeypie12
It has come to the attention of many in this country that noted Leninist Red Ed Miliband whilst travelling around the known socialist stronghold that is Australia has grown a beard to demonstrate his sympathies for the communist cause of bearded tyrant Jeremy Corbyn. Mercifully, his more rational brother David continues to give his unwavering support to blessed Liz. “I have been struck since the beginning of the campaign by the plain speaking, fresh thinking and political courage of Liz Kendall.” Said he. The one bright spark in all of this for David is that when the bearded fella wins he will receive free-NHS psychiatric care. It was also grand to see that the Yvette campaign – in a no way desperate measure – have put out campaign literature to demonstrate their gratitude for being the second preference (!) of our man David – the 2010 runner up.
Everyone loves a winner. One can only ponder however, upon how awkward it must have been in the Miliband household when their father Ralph invited friends such as Eric Hobsbawm around.
More serious matters than the foibles of the leadership election however, abound. The financial apocalypse – Chinese style. It is not entirely clear at the time of writing what effects the crash of the Chinese financial market will have on Britian, however we can all atleast agree it was again entirely the fault of Labour spending too much money on nurses, teachers and not putting disabled people in internment camps. Former New Labour advisor Damian McBride’s tweets read like a profoundly dystopian nightmare of impending doom and destruction. At this point you’re probably wondering – is Damian McBride serialising his new book on Gordon Brown in the run-up to the 2010 general election, on twitter?!? No, he too has been talking about the Shanghai Composite which has been cause for him to wake up in a cold sweat each morning for eighteen months. Indeed, a quick twitter search (don’t try this at home if you’re Louise Mensch) will uncover that the Shangai Composite advanced 52.9% in 2014. The words “bubble,” “speculation,” “will these people ever learn?” In no way shape or form spring to mind.
I wonder if anyone in The Conservative Party has considered that this would be an excellent and opportune moment to blindside the bearded fella’s wave of mass-mobilising popular support for nationalisation by buying back national assets on the cheap which were previously sold off to the Chinese? Naturally, these assets would then be sold off again at a later date at a massive loss to the taxpayer. I’m probably just being outright cynical. After all, cynicism is not something you would ever associate with The Conservative Party.
I will let everyone now get back to their routine and ritual Corbyn bashing. We don’t have much time before the sun goes down on us for good…
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