This little piggy should have gone to the free market

The following was written by @TellMeTheEnemy

I know this is probably going against the grain of popular opinion, but I’m going to go ahead with this – I’m on Cameron’s side in the light of yesterday’s news.

Let’s look at the facts.

This pig was born a pig, and that’s its own fault. Had it been born a human, it would have been able to attend a Free School and gain qualifications offered by their Broad And Balanced Curriculums. But it didn’t, because it was a pig.

Following school, the pig could have gone on to participate in a Help To Work scheme offered by our government, and having met with its Jobcentre Adviser every day, I’ve no doubt it would have enrolled in a Community Work Placement, and it would have been On The Road To A More Secure Future. Unfortunately it didn’t do any of these things, because it was a pig.

Following this, the pig could have worked in a Valuable Job and one day have earned a Living Wage which would negate the need for Tax Credits. The pig could even have got married and had children, then taken advantage of the Free Childcare Vouchers that ensure Long-Term Security For Hardworking Families. It didn’t do this, because it was selfishly and recklessly, a pig.

And so it was that the pig didn’t get any qualifications, didn’t go to the JobCentre, and so didn’t have any access to benefits. 

Its continual refusal to Show Any Initiative led to its untimely demise, and this was all of its own doing because it was a lazy pig, and eventually became a dead pig.

Had the pig not been born a pig, it would never have died, and David Cameron would not have allegedly committed a carnal act on it to teach a lesson to other self-entitled, money grubbing scroungers who had chosen to be born as pigs.

Dead pigs are a threat to our national security, our economic security and your family’s security. Now give the PM a break.


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